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A Micro Rules Moral: A Primer when it comes to Well-intentioned Lesbian

As a femme, I’m used to lesbians querying me personally with unsuitable assumptions covered as inquiries:

“Are we SURE you’re a lesbian? “You’re bisexual aren’t one?” “I’ve never met a lesbian that appears like you-Are one YES you’re a lesbian?”

While we love their elevated eyebrows and admissions of big surprise, i got eventually to wondering: Where does lesbians become for recommendations on simple tips to react in social situations? That do most people question ideas indulge the pretty lady in bathroom line or simple tips to flirt at satisfaction occasions?

While Dr. Frankie does indeed an excellent tasks together solicit Dr. Frankie Video collection, I recently practiced two, equally uncomfortable, societal lesbian bad reactions that I’m particular a lot of femmes posses sustained, and are generally searching for some major lesbian decorum suggestions.

Etiquette strategy no. 1: It’s nothing of businesses If I’m a girl to girl

The case: It’s an elegant show for a Gay & Lesbian Film Festival and everyone happens to be dressed in his or her celebration most readily useful, having a contented old-time. One of several celebration volunteers catches my favorite eyes and now we beginning communicating. Most people rapidly know we’ve satisfied before (at a lesbian velocity a relationship show) and in addition we start talking flicks, functions, food and singing all of the conduct Dr. Frankie suggests united states to: We all produce eye contact, all of us laugh at every various other and then we begin smallest talk…..

If abruptly, the volunteer demands, “Are a person gay?!” I improve simple eyebrows and gape at this model wordlessly. “Did a person really simply talk to myself that?!” She grins awkwardly…. “Well, *are* one?”